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Two, 2 and five, 5. What does twenty-five or 25 reminds you of?
Whatever significance or inconsequentiality this number may be, it’s today’s date don’t you remember? The 25th of march, for me, reminded me of a hero Gianfranco Zola of my favourite football club Chelsea. He held this number for his jersey.
This week which contained this magic number, however seemed so listless. I felt lethargic. Even at the start of the working week, some people call this the monday blues. Then I was praying to God for a great day before I step foot into my office and in came all the surprises and blessings. Suddenly, everyone seems to treat me additionally good today. Firstly, my manager became exceptionally patient with me when she was revising with me on one of the topics of my work – she used to go into interrogation when I couldn’t answer her questions; my male colleague, who was usually irritable suddenly became friendly too.
Then I realized I didn’t have to be on call for tonight and tomorrow’s so I can really sleep in peace.
On top of all these, today’s payday. And it was my first full pay. I’m glad with two five.
My mum shared with me today that she got her hand caught at the sliding door of my dad’s maxicab a few days ago when my dad was fetching her to work. She quickly banged frantically at the door and thank God my dad was alerted duly to not move the car. She escaped without any serious injuries. I thank God for the protection over her which was what I pray for my parents everyday!
1st FEb this year was memorable, prior to this, starting from 12 Jan 08, and counting, I had prayed unremittingly for 20 days. The holy spirit was evidently moving and guiding me these past weeks and days with God doing something in my heart on this day which was the 2nd prayer meeting held in church this year – I broke down in front of everyone in repentance for the sins and shame I had brought to God for the past few years when I had been disobedient.
The meeting started quite casual. If not for my aunt, I wouldn’t be attending this prayer meeting actually. Two reasons derived from the first prayer meeting I had attended; firstly I find it was carried out in a very boring and nondescript way, secondly, I find mingling with the people who came very awkward as I don’t know how they perceived me after leaving the church for a couple of years, and then coming back again. Surprisingly, the senior pastor came to talk to me. He must have been informed of how I was doing from my aunt, who is the church administrator, as he could easily strike conversations with me, on the job which I would be starting after Chinese New Year and the vacation to Japan with a big group of my extended family during the CNY period. I also shared the obstacles and miracles God has done to open the door for me to take up the job and there was still some to overcome by faith in the days to come.
The praise and worship songs we sang touched me. The last song especially as it was about repentance, not looking back and not looking around anymore but focusing on Jesus. It was written by an ex-convict who repented and now was used by God as a gospel singer, writing, singing, travelling around to testify God to people.
The prayer meeting continued with thanksgiving sharing. We took turns to share. This was when I broke down and repented. I started with: “I thank God for this year because it was a new beginning for me…” Then I began to sob uncontrollably as I shared about the shame I had brought to the name of God during the period I sinned, backslided and left the church. I sank into depression and did things my ways.
Eventually what God spoke to me to encourage me to go back to the church which I left despite the shame. God persistently affirmed his love for me despite my errors and renewed a worth in me based on the value he placed on me despite how other people or even myself measured up. I had learnt to lean and rely on him through prayers because I realised my thoughts were uncontrollably difficult to handle, so many spiritual attacks and negative thoughts; at many times I could easily be triggered by a past experience or hurt and sink into depression. I thank God for the past 20 days that he carried me, giving me the honor to join the spiritual battle through prayers and intercession for others. Thank God again for his grace upon me.
These are the promises God gave me the morning on 2 Feb - I would like to reflect at the end of this year 08 – Joel 2:21-27
Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice; for the Lord will do great things. Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of wilderness do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength. Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God: for he hath given you the former rain moderately, and he will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil. And I will restore to you the years that the locusts hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed.
I had a sweaty day as I was drenched in the ammonium-scented singlet after my 4 stations of various exercises and a 2.4km run, components for my IPPT test which is required by the army yearly. I have passed. Thank God for his grace!
I had a fun and fulfilling time doing social work today with the guys from my church, namely Peter, Bingzheng, Raymond, Jordan, Jun ling and Meishan. We went from doors to doors of HDB flats and covered a small area of terrace houses collecting can and dry food for the less fortunate.
The outcome was better than I had expected, some families whom I least expect would give gave. In a moment, I felt so blessed living in a society where people have compassion for others around them. A sense of strong camaraderie was also formed between my group and I which I very much appreciated. God is good and I thank Him for this day!
My friend, may the songs remind you of God’s grace and strength for you to live each new day.
God bless.
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